What's Cool In Road Cycling

Winter Training Camps Get Slam-Dunc’d!

The first team training camps have begun, with the focus being about getting to know the new guys, team bonding, a bit of fun. CSC’s Andrea Peron just returned from his CSC training camp in Lanzarote, reportedly complaining of a cold! Perhaps some “less perilous” activities are needed, so Dunc Steele offers his own list of activities for the “ideal” training camp.

Ed. Note: Duncan is English. As such, he possesses a distinctly ”British” sense of humor. Half the time we can’t understand a word he says or what he’s talking about, but he usually gives us a chuckle. Read on and you’ll see what we mean.

I’m worried about some of the things these pro cyclist do during the off season… well in particular Andrea Peron, my dear friend and 8 time TDF finisher and CSC member. Andrea recently popped off to Brazil for some r&r and returned with a damaged shoulder after falling off his surf board!! Now, I’m happy Andrea is a great bike rider as at squash he got trounced by everybody, falls off his surf board hurting his shoulder AND NOW has a fever after Mr. Riis put CSC through a 2 day team building course on their recent team get together at the fantastic sports resort in Lanzarote, Club La Santa.

Climbing mountains, sailing, rope swinging… hiking… Andrea just ain’t cut out for this stuff, he ain’t no Rambo! I see Andrea more as a James Bond type drifting off in a little sail boat with Monica Bellucci tucked under his arm!! So here are some games/sports that I consider better suited to Andrea and his companions for next year’s training camp.

Dear Mr. Riis – Please read the following carefully:

1. Musical Showers
Equipment needed: 16 showers and 15 white fluffy towels,16 bars of soap, music stereo, Tom Jones Cd.

Rules: Just like musical chairs we played as kids. 16 of your team are under the shower washing their face with soap, whilst the Tom Jones Cd plays “Ain’t That Peculiar”. When you stop the music, all the team (with soap in their eyes) must try to find a white fluffy towel. The one left without is eliminated from the next round that will now included 15 showers and 14 white fluffy towels. And so on until a winner is found.

Aims: Reduces barriers between team members. Groping around with soap in their eyes will bring certain contact that won’t be easily forgotten.

Physical Stress: Little, a bit of bicep work whilst washing their faces with the soap.

2. Dog Walking Part 1
Equipment needed: One dog of medium size, possibly trained to walk to heel without a leash.

Rules: Fairly simple. Involves taking the said dog for a “Long GOOD walk” (as my father says!) whilst whistling their National Anthem. Be careful to have the dog walk trail WELL MARKED so as not to get lost. Walking must be done with both hands tied behind the back and a cloth cap must be worn.

Aims: To develop a sense of Leadership. Walking with ease with both hands tied behind the back will develop great “Leg Only” coordination and the whistling the National Anthem will develop music awareness so that if anyone does win anything whilst representing their country they will know what that little bit of music is playing in the background.

Physical Stress: Be careful with the balance and posture whilst walking, can cause hip problems.

3: Dog Walking Part 2
Equipment Needed: As above and a tennis ball preferably without the fuzz to reduce weight.

Rules: Be careful here. Make sure the athlete has done plenty of stretching of the shoulder before starting. This is an advanced exercise. Involves walking as in Dog Walking Part 1 and slowly, to avoid any trauma, bringing a hand to the front and taking the ball out of the already open (No pockets with popper closing) pocket. Throwing the ball with a fluid motion, whilst standing still. The dog (hopefully) will retrieve the ball bringing it back. Extract the ball from the dogs jaws(don’t let the dog drop the ball on the floor as the bending could cause lower back stress) and repeat the exercise a MAXIMUM of 3 times (An overdose can cause SERIOUS after effects)

Aims: As above but with the ball throwing develops upper body strength.

Physical stress: Many…BE CAREFUL.

4: Hammock Swinging
Equipment Needed: A Hammock. A team member, food and drink for 3 days. Reading material. Safety net.

Rules: While team member No. 1 holds the hammock, team member No. 2 has to attempt to climb in. Once in, team No.1 can exit said hammock leaving team member No. 2 with food, drink reading supplies for 3 days. Team member No. 2 has to try to relax and rest WITHOUT falling out! Points will be deducted for any fall. The safety net will soften any blows to the body in case of any fall. A constant swinging movement will be executed by moving very gently the buttocks from left to right.

Aims: Will increase balance for future activities in this position. Improves food handling in difficult positions. Improves trust between the 2 team members. Develops the buttocks.

Physical stress: Be carefull here. Hip problems may arise with exaggerated buttock movement. Medical test advised to all team members who take on this challenge. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

5. Total rest to recover from the week’s activities.
Self explanatory.

6. Grand Final: Obstacle Course
Equipment needed: A busy beach, Beach umbrella, Soft drink.

Rules: Running from the safety of the shade, across the beach between towels, beach chairs, buckets and spades, kissing couples, dogs and sand castles to the WELL MARKED CSC umbrella positioned 100meters from the starting point. Huge penalty for any damage to sand castles. DO NOT FOR ANY REASON stop to answer ringing mobile phone or gawk at any female. Could cause burned feet!

Aims: Good for developing awareness of others, awareness of movement and gently bring the team into contact with normal people.

Physical stress: HIGH RISK. This is a total body and mind workout. Be careful with feet burning of slow competitors. Generally enjoyable to finish the week’s activities.

NOTE: These exercises have been patented by Dunc. Tested on my 93 year old grandfather with amazing results, he even sings the words to “God save the Queen” in Dog Walking 2. If there are any need for any in depth consultation on these exercises please don’t hesitate to contact me.

I wish you and all the CSC team and staff a great Christmas and a New year as successful as the last. I would like to take this opportunity to wish All Pez readers the same wishes and hope you enjoyed reading my articles as I have enjoyed writing them. Talk to you all in 2004!

– Dunc.

Check out the Team CSC website: Team CSC

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